Keeping Control

14 05 2006

Yesterday I was having lunch with some good friends, when I was told that my daugther is so well behaived when we take her to restaurants. I have taken Eliana with me on many day trips around town to run errands, and she was with me on this trip as well. What stikes me is that I've been hearing this comment more frequently lately (probably because we've been hanging out with more people), and along with this comment comes the question of how I do it.

I have no amazing secrets to tell, at least I don't think so. But, perhaps is starts by describing my current relationship with Eliana. We are really great pals. We love to play with each other and she knows that I am the fun parent. I always try to be light hearted and easy going. I am also trying to show more love and affection towards her than I think my parents we able to show me.  I believe I have also gained her trust as she comes to me first and cries "daddy" (or "Apa") when something is wrong.

But, I am not always her friend. I am her father first. I realize she is still learning how to deal with the world around her, and I try to teach her apprioriate things and ways to handle herself. Sometimes this comes with a yell or two, mostly as a scare tactic. Spanking does come in to play sometimes. I try to keep it to a minimum because if it's overused, it will lose its effectiveness.

I think over all, she listens to me because I am her father and she's a daddy's girl, it's probably that simple. Why she is so well behaved when we go out is probably a personality thing. She has been a great kid from the start. I look forward to the times that we will both remember, rather than just these which only I remember. 

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