Too Stressful

16 07 2006

A day like today had been a long time coming. You put a 2 year old and 6 month old together for too long and you get a lot of crying. And lots of crying makes for unhappy and stressed out parents. So, while there was a lot of crying and yelling, I hope I made a good choice by simply putting Eliana to bed earlier than normal. This way, she could rest, and we could get some temporary sanity back in our lives.

I’m stressed out for many reasons at the moment. Recently, Intel annouced that it was getting rid of a layer of manangement in order to become more nimble again. This hit too close to home when my manager was included in that mix. While I am fairly confident that he will be our only casualty in Intel’s tough times, I still need to consider the worst. It is an outcome that I hate thinking about too because I actually enjoy my work so much, I would have a difficult time finding a job as perfectly suited to me and my talents as this one.

Another source of my stress comes from just being a parent of two kids. Two kids require nearly 100% attention. This leaves little room in my schedule for doing things that have been an important part of my life over the past several years. Right now, the biggest casualty has been my cycling. It used to be that I would go out every Saturday and Sunday with whatever local clubs I could find and get in some quality miles. Add that with some daily miles to and from work, and I was easily able to keep my fitness and health in check. Nowadays, I live in an area that is too hot to safely ride to work, and with the kids around, I cannot make it out the door by myself let alone make it out for several hours on end with only me and my bike.

And, perhaps a direct result of the kids is a messy house. We clean up the house nearly every day picking up toys and cleaning up the kids spilled food and drinks. It’s a never ending battle and we seem to be losing. By the time I or my wife cleans up the messes, we are too tired to do nearly anything else that requires our attention. We try to teach Eliana to put her toys away, but she only plays with things when we are in sight (that’s probably typical), and as soon as she looses interest, they get dropped. We understand that kids make messes, but it almost seems that we both need a break; a time without kids, just to remember what it was like.

I don’t blame the kids. Putting the blame sorely on them would be a huge error as all of us have a part in the stresses we are feeling now. The kids need me and their mother now; they are just not old enough to be able to do even the most basic things on their own. I help them clean themselves, feed themselves and clothe themselves. They love being around us, and we love being aroud them. We sacrifice our time and money for them, but when they repay us with lots of crying, it just makes it more stressful around here.

It is my hope that I find a way to relieve this stress. It used to be my bike was a great stress reliever. I killed several birds with one stone on my bike (save gas, lose wight, relieve stress!). But now that it is more and more difficult to ride, I need some other way. When I find it, perhaps I’ll post my solution here.




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