Voices in my Head

30 04 2008

Every time I have to stop my children from doing something from which they can get hurt, or to eat their vegetables, or clean their room, I hear a little I hear a little bit of my parents in my voice. Is this an inevitable evolution? Why can’t I think of something new to say to them? Am I doomed to not being in touch with my children in the future as my parents seemed at times?

In a way, every time I tell my children to eat their vegetables or other good-for-them food, I am like every other rational parent out there. As parents, we want the best for our kids. But, if we remember our own childhoods, we hated the same things our kids hate now. I never liked vegetables. However, as I became older, I found that they really weren’t that bad. All we want is that our children enjoy their childhood as healthily as possible, and eating their veggies is just one piece of the puzzle that will help achieve that.

We have all heard that voice when the time comes to scold our kids. I hear my Mom and Dad in my voice in many of these scoldings. When I hear that, I realize that all these flashbacks are there to keep my anger in check. I do get annoyed by many of the things my kids do, but when I start to hear my parents in my head, my perspective starts to shift from my view to what my kids are seeing, and feeling. Or at least to what I understand the kids are seeing from me.

Growing older, I notice mental changes in myself as well as the typical physical changes. But, the mental changes, at least, will have more impact on my relationship with my children when they start to become more independent and have social lives of their own. I find I’m still able to keep up with trends right now, but who knows what will happen as we venture into the new eras in our lives. Of course, when we’re kids, we all think we’ll never get old, or never be out of touch, but then we all thought the only occupations available to us were: astronaut, fireman, or policeman, etc. Our world grows as we grow; mine continues to grow, and probably will continue well into my old age.  I think it is going to be up to me to be able to balance being a good parent and a good friend to my daughters as we all grow older.

Maybe by then, my children will be hearing the voices of us in their heads…

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